I Should Be Sleeping

Well, I'm pulling my first all-nighter down here in the basement laundry room of my dorm. It's really 2:04 AM, and I've got a solid 4 hours of homework left to go. While I was walking down here an hour ago, I saw people just hanging out. I got so annoyed that I had been running around all day doing school stuff, now I'm still doing school stuff, and other people are just hanging out... Then I asked myself, "Why am I trying so hard?" I've always done everything with the intent of getting the "top grade," and it's taken me till now to figure out why. It's not because anyone else has told me to (I don't do things until I decide they're things I need to do; I don't know why, it's just how I roll). I am here at college because I want to be better. I'm not here so I can make more money. I'm not here to party it up. I'm here to learn what I can and grow into a better Shae. Maybe it's the lack of sleep popping up now, and maybe this has nothing to do with anything, but the song "The Lucky Ones" by Brendan James is now going through my head. It opens up with:
 "On the edge of a moment, 
In the land that we love,
In the time that our best has to be good enough,
Like all those before us, we start out alone,We race from our schoolyards, into the unknown"
I've never realized how terrifying it is when your best has to be good enough. 
I've also never been more excited to find out. --Shae