"Thank you, Advil, for being like M&Ms that went to medical school."

I would like to take some time for some Jimmy Fallon-esque thank you's of my own. (If you feel like it, you could even play this while listening to complete the effect)...

Thank you, guy who accidentally made eye contact with me while conjuring up a disgusting-sounding loogie, for holding it in until after you passed me on the sidewalk.

Thank you, all of the people who take advantage of the fact that Facebook now has spellcheck--oh wait...

Thank you, mother accompanying her daughter on a tour of my campus, for reminding her in a voice that could be heard across the street to stop texting while walking, at the exact moment that I was about to do the same thing. Like you said, I could've gotten hurt.

Thank you to the numerous people who held the door open for me today even though I was at that "too-far-for-this-not-to-be-awkward-but-too-close-to-let-the-door-close" distance from you.

Thank you, capital I's, for having two possible looks and playing with my OCD when I'm not consistent.

Thank you, kid talking to his teacher, for letting me overhear that you are taking a course on natural disasters at my school. I will probably take that sometime, just to be prepared.

Thank you, senior trip, for providing me with a nice memory of a beach to imagine during this relaxation exercise instead of focusing on how the video is most likely narrated by Old Gregg.

Thank you, shower head at my dorm, for busting off mid-shower, allowing the full pressure of the pipe to give me a nice neck massage.

Thank you, to my new professors; one of you for letting me know that you like you ask students to get out their iClickers because it makes you feel like a professor at Hogwarts saying,"Wands at the ready," and the other one for accidentally mixing up the word "hermit" with another word, resulting in you telling us that we should take your class if we don't want to end up hobbits.

Thank you, you, for taking the time to read this post.