So, getting to my work seems a little sketch. It's not, but its just that I work in the basement, and I get there by going into this delivery truck loading dock tunnel thing (when does one of those not look sketch?) on the backside of the building. And I see an average of of two people a day on weekends, but hear an average of three doors shut without seeing who shut them. It's just a little creepy, a fact that my coworkers have voiced to me in sympathy, so it's not just me being crazy. Sometimes I think "I could get murdered right now and no one would know." But I haven't yet, so I should be good to go.
Anyway, sometimes when you are basically by yourself for six hours your sense of how to act around people kind of slips a little. Like today, I was tired when I got done with work and I decided taking a nap in my car, which I conveniently parked in the loading dock, was a good idea. "There won't be anyone there" I thought. So I go through the three sets of locked doors it takes to get outside and am very taken aback when there is a man standing there smoking. I have two immediate thoughts: "Maybe I will get murdered by this man" (He was just a security guard. I really don't think that everyone wants to murder me. I guess it's just a thought that crosses my mind sometimes.) and "What do I look like right now?"
Since I thought that I was alone and just going to take a nap, the answer was "Kind of a mess." My hair was all frizzy and the kind of messy that comes from changing clothes several times without paying any attention to it, my sandals were sort of on but not really since I thought I was just going to take them off again, it was hot and so I didn't put on my jacket, so I was wearing a "strapless" dress on which one of the little clear plastic straps had broken when I got into my car and it's questionable how well I was doing keeping it up on its own. He just smiled and nodded, he probably didn't even think anything, but his presence made me look at myself and think "Maybe I should be a little more conscious of how I present myself from here on out."
I didn't take the nap.
In other news, the abandonment that comes from being a nineteen-year-old Mormon girl has finally come to completion today. Until you leave. But then I'll be 20. Anyways.
The song that has become my national anthem (because apparently I'm a nation now?) has just been extended, in a slightly different way, but still the line:
"The more I see I understand
But sometimes, I still need you."
I feel that line a lot. And I think I will a lot more in the near future. But that is life.
I understand. Sometimes I just need people back.
In other other news: Olympics! Love them. Especially when this guy is around:
Total babe. I could look at him for hours.
I also don't know why some of the words are white. And I will not make any effort to try and fix it.
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