Being Old

"Time keeps on slippin' (slippin', slippin'), into the future." 

--Seal (or as I like to call him, Othello)

     I've never understood those lyrics, but I feel like somehow they apply to the fact that even though we never get to redo time, all that time that passes into the past influences our future (it's actually kind of scary once you think about it. Like, every second that goes by, you'll never get that back. And seconds turn into minutes, days, years...we are living our lives here, people, and we only get one shot at it!). 

     So, I'm about to turn twenty. I have to say that I'm a little indifferent to it, besides that fact that saying "I'm twenty" will sound a whole lot cooler than "I'm nineteen." There was a time--to be honest, this 'time' was a couple days ago--where I thought, "Shae, what have you done with your two decades of life up to this point?" And I disappointingly came up with nada mucho. It was some what of a, in the words of John Mayer, quarter life crisis. But, luckily, my usual mellowness has returned as I've realized that even though there's not a whole lot the entire world has noticed about my twenty years here, there are a few people who might be able to say that I've helped them out some. I've even noticed positive changes in my own behavior that I hope mean I'm on my way to becoming the person I want to be. And this makes me just fine with getting older. In fact, earlier I saw two old women talking to each other while speed walking down the road and, to my surprise, I thought, "I can't wait for that." So, here's my attempt at optimism, and it feels so good. 

20 years old: let's do this thang. 

(P.S. I hope that this doesn't come off as some kind of tribute to myself. Because that would be really weird of me to do that.)