I just want to be a good person.

Over the last while, I've been feeling like I don't really do anything to contribute to the world, and I really really really want to live a life of value. Hopefully I want it enough to act on that desire. One area that I've been trying to work on is to love and appreciate everyone that I know and meet, especially since that will be a trait that would be beneficial on this next phase of life I'm about to embark on. One interesting point that was made to me about love in one of my Sunday school classes came in regards to part of Elder Packer's latest conference talk, which sparked some controversy in local newspapers and my Facebook (as usual). I'm sure you remember it: "Tolerance is a virtue, but, like all virtues, when exaggerated it transforms itself into a vice. We need to be careful of the ‘tolerance trap’ so that we are not swallowed up in it."

When I heard that at first, I was a little like "ahh...uhh..hmmm" and kind of did a little cringe. My Sunday school teacher said that he too had a hard time with reconciling with it, so he tried to make sense of it by drawing a scale. I'll try to recreate it:

-/ -                                         +/-                                             +/+
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He then put excessive tolerance on the far right, and then said (in more and better words than this), "I thought about what would be on the opposite side of the scale, and decided it would be bigotry. If neither of these things are "good," then what would be in the middle, the perfect balance between them? I decided it would be pure, Christlike love. Christ loved everyone regardless of their sins, but neither did he ever condone any sin."
A lot of people probably think that LDS people as a whole fall to the far left of this scale, for reasons that I can see, but I do find it a little funny that a lot of people can probably accept this view of how Jesus Christ the person lived and believed, but cannot transfer that over to other people around them and believe that is what they are aiming for. I guess it's just not a satisfying answer to them or something, I don't know. But I don't think anyone can go wrong if they are just trying to be like Jesus.

I think that many people would agree with me that this is one of the biggest issues regarding our church today, and I'm convinced that it will be one of the hardest things for me to deal with on my mission, how to reconcile tolerance and everything. Maybe you feel the same way (and maybe it won't be as large of an issue where you are going, I don't know.) I'm actually pretty nervous about how I'm going to handle of that. But hopefully it will work out.

This semester has been one where I've had ups and downs regarding unconditionally loving everyone with Christ-like love. The main thing I've found is that almost everyone I know will probably give me at least some small reason to harbor bad feelings towards them at some point. And we are the only ones who determine what wins out, the good feelings or the bad. There is a line and that line is hard to find; you don't want to be a doormat or get hurt or anything, but I really believe that in the long run (and in the short run, really) it's the best for all involved when you choose love. I'm too young to burn, anyhow, and life is too short.

On another note, if you haven't heard the latest Vampire Weekend single, it may or may not be about going on a mission...
Also it's just overall a really kicky song.