It Is Better To Light A Candle Than To Curse The Darkness

This saying has become one of my new life mottos. Not that I've had a lot of darkness to curse, but I think it's one that will serve me well throughout my life. (Sidenote: life mottos are much easier to remember in day to day life when you make them the background for your phone! Thanks, internet photos.)

I have quite a few different things I'd like to post about. Somehow I want to try and split them up into more fluid, coherent thoughts than oft-rambling posts on all my thoughts and feelings. This one will be short, prepare for more ramblings to come!

One thing that is on my mind is something that is not an easy subject for me to bring up. I remember in junior high when I went through this once before, trying to find the "right words" to tell people just didn't seem possible. So here it is.

My Aunt has cancer.

I found out last week, and today found out more of the details. Apparently, it is stage 3 and fairly aggressive. In a paraphrase of my father's words: whatever happens from this point on, it will (and has been) be life-changing for all involved.

I'm a little nervous to go home this weekend because I'm still not really sure how to react, what to say, how to feel. I have made little-to-no communication back to my family on the subject (all of the info I've received has come via email) mainly because I'm not sure what words to say. I hope that when the time comes, I'll know. But although I haven't been able to use my own words, I have taken comfort in the simple power of hers.

Before I share them, I would just like to say that my Aunt is truly and genuinely one of my greatest role models and a hero to me. She is a woman of grace, intelligence, good humor, strength, and warmth. Her achievements are many and incredible, the sorrows she's faced (of which I only know a small part, I'm sure) have been heart-wrenchingly difficult, and yet she remains one of the most down-to-earth people I know. I could go on and on, and run out of adjectives. But I just wanted to share you a few lines of the email to her family that I received this morning:

(background: the email tells about the results of the test and the intended treatment plan from her physician)

"Thank you for your fasting and prayers. I felt such peace. Sunday was a beautiful day of hope. Our Bishop gave a blessing that offered the strength I need to be healed. I believe I will know the longevity he promised....

Treatment is aggressive and long--I hope I can buck up to it.

I am scared, but I believe I am going to live!

Don't stop praying.

I love you.

Elaine

So much hope. She truly knows the wisdom in lighting candles and the foolish futility of cursing darkness.

In case you have some free time and would like to read more of her lovely and inspiring words, she has given several wonderful speeches at BYU. This one is my personal favorite. You can even find an Ensign-condensed version here if you have fewer minutes at your disposal!

And for a particularly uplifting one on joy, click here.